"So I really am important? How I feel when I'm drunk is correct? "

happy birthday america, its the fourth of july and i really hope that something good happens tonight. there's a lot of addictions i wish i could kick, and a lot of activities i wish i could take up. but i am not a strong person, i am a lazy "easy-way-out" kind of guy and i too am surprised i'm not fat. i need to get in better shape. maybe a little exercising in the morning, a nice jog to start my day. eating right, and staying healthy. all that southern california jazz. aside from that, i have been working on my short little novel. but i really don't want to go to much into that. i do want to start making short 30 minute movies of ideas i have. when i start making movies, i really want to try and run characters from the one previous to it somehow in it in some small way, just to show my audience that everything i do is connected, and that everything i do is basically my own little world. maybe in one move the protagonist is a waiter, and in the next he takes the order or that protagonist who is a car sales man, and in the next he is the guy the next protagonist finds cheating on his wife. trippy shit like that. i think the installment of my short movies is going to be along the lines of what i thought of today. it's going to be about a guy who is, well a waiter, but lives a life of submission to everyone and everything around him. but at night he offers his body up to paying people for top dollar to be brutally wailed on till near death. the hero, or anti-hero since i love that kind of character so much, will basically have a sexual fetish for getting the shit kicked out of him. in turn for letting someone beat him up, he gets money, a trip to the hospital if needed, and a little turned on. it's probably going to be about drugs, sex, and the problems of letting everyone walk all over you. it's still just an idea though and may never even get written. but if it does it will be the first installment of my mini movie series. then next summer i want to start working on Karma Police (a movie i've been writing for sometime now).

for those of you wondering what my tattoo on my arm is: Om Mani Padme Hum

it is a mantra which translated to english means "Hail to the Jewel of the Lotus"

but also each character stands for different paramitas, or qualities

Om the first character is the paramita of Meditation and Bliss. It purifies Pride.

Ma is the paramita of Patience. It purifies Jealousy and Lust. 

Ni is the paramita of Discipline. It purifies Passion and Desire. 

Pad is the paramita of Wisdom. It purifies Stupidity and Prejudice.

Me is the paramita of Generosity. It purifies Poverty and Possessiveness. 

Hum is the paramita of Diligence. It purifies Aggression and Hatred. 

something i would like to try to follow in my life.