"Don't ever tell anybody anything. If you do, you start missing everybody."

i have a show today, at 5:30. it's going to be alright i guess, i don't know. shows just make me realize how little friends i truly have. but thats okay, that not really that important, to have people there to support what you do. i guess. it's funny that everyones parents but mine are always at these things. it's funny that every time there is an event like this in my life, i don't really have the support from my parents to begin with. but i hate them right, so why do i care? call it the little boy inside me desperately pleading for love and affection. i miss the past a lot, which is idiotic because if you just dwell on that, you really are missing the future as well. it hurts to be happy i think. cause if your happy, then sadness is this unexpected failure in your life, that moment when you lose that happiness. if your sad, then your know its coming eventually. oh god did i just do a johnny cusack say anything quote. well, it is an 80's classic. and peter gabriel's in your eyes is a pretty good song. great i'm rambling about an 80's date movie. well anyways i better ready for my show, i still have a little bit more tickets left to sell

[Edit 3:19:55]

have you ever just wanted to die?