life isn't so bad when your tripping on numerous disney characters dancing to songs in-front of your red eyes. it was a good night last night, one i needed very badly. perhaps the reason i hate my parents a lot is because there old. not just of age, but of heart as well. maybe i'm just so afraid of getting older, becoming responsible, and losing free-will to this money drive society. maybe that is why i resent so many things, maybe that is why i rebel. maybe that is why i want there to be a revolution. i don't want to get older, i don't want to be depended on, a bread winner, a husband with responsibilities who has to say, "sorry guys i promise my wife i'd do _______ today." speaking of women problems, there is this new girl at my work, cutest thing i've seen in such a long time. at work, i've been there long enough (9 months) to where i can talk to people so casually there, but i feel so nervous just trying to introduce myself to her. i'm not being at all stalker-ish or creepy (at least in my mind) i'm just being that nervous little boy trapped in side me who gets butterflies over a cute girl. but thats fucking just life isn't it. not to sound creepy again, but i really love my dog. not in the same way i love a girl, but in the way that i can count on it when i'm lonely and sad to come up and lick my fingers or just lay next to me when i sleep. just the comfort and warmth of another living thing helps me out. human contact is such an important thing, and i don't really have much of that right now. maybe it's me being lazy, maybe it's gas prices jerking my chain, i don't know which one. maybe all i do is blame things instead of take action. i am a pacifists. i am a passive aggressive revolutionist. i am a lazy son of a bitch who needs to get off his ass and practice what he preaches.
[Edit 10:49:22]
i have to say that it has been a pretty relaxing day, aside from the nagging of my mother. i didn't do much at all today, and i have no complaints. i was feeling pretty tired and out of gas to do anything really. so days you just can't help but want to spend some alone time with yourself, even though your friends invited you to numerous things. but its okay really, to be happy with being alone. i don't find any shame in it at all. i feel empowered as a matter of fact, that i can do things alone. people can laugh and call me a loser if they must when they see me eating or watching a movie by myself, but i just feel sorry for them. there so insecure with themselves that they need someone there constantly, even with something that is more so a solitary thing (like watching a movie, do you really need to be next to two people you know when you watch a movie to enjoy it? really?). i like a bit of me time sometimes, it's good on the gas. i mean there are plenty of other days that i can hang out with my friends. but what with work, and the band, and all that jazz, sometimes i just want to be alone with myself. makes me feel a little more independent.
i am registered for my classes this fall semester. it's going to be tough but i think i can pull through again
so far i got
ECON 180 - Microeconomics (droping)
ENGL 127 - Scriptwriting
FILM 110 - Video Workshop
MATH 010 - Elementary Algebra (Dumb-Ass)
MUS 100 - Hist & Appre of Music
PSYC 175 - Human Sexuality 2
there you have it 18 units of fun. it's pretty well balanced i think, 2 general classes, 2 film related classes, 2 fun classes. not to bad, i hope i make the dean's list again, but i'm shooting for the presidents list.
i'm working on a bunch of new songs, hope to have them done soon
No comments:
Post a Comment